Technology & MSG

The bouncer was a nice enough guy, but he did question our taste in beverages. More of a mocking disbelief, really. That being said, all strip clubs ought to be BYOB. How else could you bring malt liquor into a club?

We recently went to “The Famous” McDoogals; a last minute bachelor party for a buddy. McDoogals is one of few gentleman’s clubs that doesn’t have a liquor license. Instead, they have a license to serve what you bring in. A brilliant idea, really. No more watered down Jack and Coke’s for $10. No more $8 bottles of Bud Light. One cover up front with a reasonable limit on how much alcohol you can bring in. The bartender keeps it all on ice while you’re there, just go up and get refilled when you need to. Simple.

We arrived in a VW Jetta; two passengers in the front, three passengers in the back, two passengers in the trunk with the case of OE. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t so bright. But that’s right, twelve bottles of ice cold Olde English 800 fresh for the picking! 480 ounces of malt liquor; that’s almost four gallons, setting us back a mere $20. We rolled in with them to the disbelief of the bouncer, the bartender, not to mention a few of the dancers. So were aren’t the most classy people, but we already had the case from a previously scheduled event, and we aren’t the type to let beer go to waste no matter the cost.

Despite there being more potent brands, Olde English is the favorite malt liquor amongst my close friends. Back in college we experimented with every forty-ounce that we could find. The favorite — hands down — was OE. Despite the looks we received for being unclassy people at the strip club, there are plenty of OE fans out there.

According to Wikipedia’s article on OE, “it is popular among those on a tight budget wanting to become drunk quickly.” That’s certainly the consensus, based on a few contributed OE experiences on Everything2. Eh, but Wikipedia and Everything2 aren’t too reliable all of the time. But what about a more solid publication? One with a solid editorial staff with impeccable moral fiber?

According to Modern Drunkard Magazine, “OE has been praised by more rappers than every other malt liquor combined.” With such “devotees past and present [including] Ice Cube, Eazy E, NWA, NAS, Beastie Boys, Alkaholics, TuPac and Dr. Dre,” who wouldn’t want to keep that sort of company?

Cheers! Don’t forgot to pour the last tenth of the bottle out. It’s all about respect. I’m out? Are you serious? Okay, now how about that lap dance?

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