More Tangents Than A Landscaper’s Got Weeds
Apr 4th, 2007 by Alex
I just received an eight page newsletter from Behnke Nurseries. There’s something I can’t figure out. Why would a nursery send out a flyer to an entire ZIP+4 where the owners — in addition to having no more than 20 square feet of lawn — have landscaping done for them by Brickman whether they want it or not? Perhaps I’ll remember them when I grow up and buy a bigger place that I have to manage myself. Wasted postage if you ask me.
Hah. I have landscapers. Doesn’t that make me sound like a pompous ass?
Was watching Law & Order the other night — where Kellie Martin from Life Goes On (if you remember that show, almost 20 years ago) was looking rather stunning — and saw a few commericials that struck a chord. The ads for the United Methodist Church are creepy; it’s bad enough that I get flyers in the mail and stuck in my front door from the churches around the area, it’s more weird and oddly (in)appropriate to have ads for churches on television during SVU. I do enjoy the clever ads from USA Network that have characters from different shows (such as Monk and Dead Zone) interacting around the punch bowl.
No decent ads of late, though.
“It’s not lacking any meat and that’s what real women need.” — Quiznos
Uh huh. Couldn’t help but notice the wedding ring on her finger. That means her husband is either hung like a horse or she’s cheating on his ass. Watch out for that absurdly horrible laughter. You married a retard, dude. Despite the questionably moral messages Quiznos is sending Americans through the television, the prime rib on garlic bread does look rather tasty.
“There’s no such thing as too many handbags. It’s mathematically impossible.” — Kohl’s
Now that’s just stupid. Don’t even get me started on how much money is wasted on extraneous shoes and handbags.
Or that Kohls tries to argue that too many handbags is mathematically impossible when the primary consumers of handbags, women, can’t even do math.
That’s a fact. You can look it up.