I Just Want to Live Here
Aug 22nd, 2007 by Alex
The HOA drives me nuts. When they came through to inspect they suggested that I check for rot on the garage door. I did. No rot. A few weeks later I got an irrational nasty-gram from the HOA about the state of my place, saying that I hadn’t taken action and that if I didn’t make amends I’d be scheduled for a hearing and possibly fined. How the hell can a representative tell whether or not I checked for rot? Note that this is the same representative who — during the last round of inspections two years ago — said that the garage door hadn’t been painted when it clearly had been.
I just sent the following to the HOA staff via e-mail, a suggested mechanism for communication (according to the letter).
This e-mail is in regards to the recent maintainance inspections in
community [name], specifically at [my address].On 04/30/2007 a maintenance reminder was left at my home. One of the
issues for me to address was to “ck for rot on garage door.”I inspected the garage door. There were several hairline cracks in the
garage door, typical for the changes in climate here. There was no
evidence that the door or structure had rotted (no soft spots, wood
shavings, etc).On 06/28/2007 I received a letter from your office indicating that the
following issue had not been resolved, “check garage door for rot-wood
split.”I fail to see how your representative can determine whether or not the
initially requested work was performed, however I’ve taken the additional
effort to fill, sand, and re-paint the cracked areas.I trust this will be more than satisfactory.
These people have nothing better to do than to meddle and make suggestions about things they don’t fully comprehend. This is their job. Not as bad as the survey guy, but not too far off. I had half a mind to suggest two other points in the email.
- Don’t place the inspection notice on my front door. What if I’m not home? What if I’m on vacation? It sends a clear message that no one is home. It says “rob my ass and tromp all over the garden.” They mail everything else (including the nasty-gram), why not the damned inspection notice?
- Hire some representatives with some construction experience, or at least who know the difference between caulk and wood filler. Caulk does not solve all problems, contrary to the belief of whomever is filling out the inspection sheets. I’m amazed they’re allowed to make suggestions on how to fix structural issues — with or without caulk — at risk of being sued with someone’s house collapses when the owner makes the prescribed fixes to get the HOA off their back.
I decided not to include these. No need to further insult or make my case any more difficult. I did make a point to CC the legal counsel. A tad passive aggressive, but they deserve it.
The response came at 7:30AM on a Saturday.
Thank you for your email. I will note your file that you have filled the cracked wood, sanded and painted it.
I look forward to closing out your 2007 maintenance request on my final re-inspection.
She’ll look forward to it. I imagine someone who really enjoyed this sort of thing. It must be quite the power trip, being able to tell thousands of people to do silly things to the homes that they own whether or not they need to be done and knowing that they’ll do them in order to avoid penalty.
The next place that I live will not have an HOA, or one that doesn’t give a damn by comparison.
The good news is that I haven’t heard anything since. Looks like I’m off the hook for the next two years.
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It is crap like this that will keep me from moving to an HOA community where little control freaks can cause me grief because the have nothing better to do with their lives.
Huzzah! No HOA at my house, and the county picks up my trash!
Apparently, there used to be an HOA where I live but it was disbanded. Based on the stories, it existed solely to provide neighborhood BBQs and 4th of July celebrations. You need to get one of those HOAs.
Why don’t you join the HOA and then disband it from the inside?
Paul: The challenge is finding a community without an HOA that is located in a good school district.
mokiejovis: Your property taxes pay for trash collection. My HOA was never like that, although they do provide for those sorts of events. Part of the problem is that this was a planned community from the start, so the developers needed a LOT of control to prevent the place from turning into a slum.
ACW: Someone else I know (and you do too) suggested the same thing after he got involved in his old HOA. Even I managed to be elected to the Board of Directors, I doubt that the developer would be interested in disbanding an association that provides a considerable source of income.
Alex,
We worked together for a few days many years ago at Take One. I was doing the ASP programming and you were doing the PHP or perl - I forget which. I still plow Dan’s parking lot and occasionally service an app I wrote, but that’s about it these days.
I always remembered your domain name because you were the guy who told me about somafm, which I am still listening to probably 6 years later.
Just saying hey, and I like your blog, and I too am harassed by HOA’s. Got a “cease and desist” love letter from one recently, in fact, for a red curtain in a window that should have had a white curtain.
Keep up the good work!
Rob: Nice to hear from you. I haven’t kept in touch with the folks from Take One, not much anyways. I still listen to SomaFM, although recently I’ve taken a liking to Frisky Radio (linked from Shoutcast.com, usually). My HOA has been eerily silent lately… not sure what to make of that, but I’m still keeping my head down.