My First Jewish Wedding
Jul 17th, 2008 by Alex
This weekend I journeyed up to New Jersey to attend my oldest cousin J’s wedding. The ceremony — held in the courtyard of the Newark Art Museum — introduced me to a lot of traditions that I had only heard about indirectly from friends or in movies. In short, it was a lovely ceremony and I’m really happy for them.
My cousin isn’t Jewish, but his bride (R) is. They worked together with the Rabbi to adapt their ceremony, incorporating many Jewish traditions while making it more accessible for non-Jews. Many of the passages were spoken in Hebrew and translated into English for the non-Jewish attendees. I’m no expert on Judaism, so I couldn’t say how traditional the ceremony was except for noting the traditions that I haven’t seen before: the huppah (made by the bride’s mother), the concept of circling, the first kiddush, reading of the ketubah (written by them and created by hand by a close friend), shevah brahot (recited in Hebrew by the Rabbi and in English by various close friends and family members). The only traditional that I had seen before was the breaking of the glass. That was there too. The program was very casual and explained in layman’s terms what was happening. I appreciated it, since it was all new to me.
They also took part in yichud — “seclusion, an opportunity for [them] to enjoy their first moments of married life alone” — which I think is really neat. Most weddings I’ve been to involve the bride and groom running out of the church and being mobbed by guests before spending their first few minutes in the car/limo/carriage on their way to take photos before the reception. Though I didn’t partake — for obvious reasons — I really like the concept. There’s so much running around that modern brides and grooms have to do, I think it’s a good thing to slow down and be alone if only for a few minutes.
The reception was held within the museum walls in the Charles W. Engelhard Court. The room itself has a high arched ceiling bordered by lots of decorative molding. Regardless of the level of light, the room has an intriguingly vibrant golden glow about it.
The reception started out with what most of the guests referred to as “the circle dance.” R herself pulled several dozen people into the circle, to the point where there were only a handful of people still sitting. At some point she managed to slip away and change into a pair of sneakers. I wish more brides would take the opportunity to be more comfortable during their own wedding, so you go girl! I think the first song must have gone on for 15 minutes or so. Then there was dinner and dancing. A lot of dancing.
Dinner was entirely vegetarian and featured three buffet lines featuring Indian, Italian, and Asian-style dishes. Everything was exquisite. The vegetable curry and Thai noodles were spicy and made me sweat. So good. The dancing was reprized directly after dinner. To be honest, I have no idea how anyone can dance so soon after eating. The amount of energy and joy was fascinating, inspiring, and amazing.
It’s been a while since I’d seen my cousin J or any of my other cousins and relatives. I’ll be ever grateful to have been invited. In addition to being part of the festivities, it was a great opportunity to see my grandmother and get to talk to my aunts, uncles, and cousins that I haven’t seen in a long time.
It was the first time I had met R, though they have been seeing each other for several years. I got the opportunity to speak with J and R privately and individually after the reception up in their suite during the after-party. I was very pleased to be able to speak to them for much longer that I expected to, especially considering how many other people were around. It felt like they both made a point to come talk to me one-on-one. My only regret is that we haven’t kept in touch more over the years. Both have a lot going on in their lives aside from the wedding and I’m so glad that they’ve found one another.
To J and R if you’re out there, congratulations.
I’ve never been to a Jewish wedding, but I would love to go to one. And the Newark Art Museum is a really gorgeous place. I saw a Bruce Springsteen exhibition there a few years ago.
yellowjkt: The Springsteen exhibit sounds cool. Two of the exhibits were open for a while during the cocktail hour, but I lost track of the time talking to my relatives. Maybe next time.