Thoughts About the 82nd Annual Oscars
Mar 8th, 2010 by Alex
After staying up entirely too last on a school night, I have a few thoughts about the 82nd Annual Academy Awards. I have to ignore the sets for the most part, since I’d be drooling all over the keys for the duration.
- NPH. Is there anything he can’t do?
- What an entrance by Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. I wish we had a fly loft.
- What was up George Clooney’s butt? Scowling the whole time. Is life so horrible?
- Penelope Cruz makes red tissue paper look good, even if I can only understand 78% of her English.
- Inglourious Basterds star Christopher Waltz’s speech was one of the most graceful I’ve ever heard.
- No podium this year. This is a good thing.
- Carrying their dresses, I assumed that Miley Cyrus and Amanda Seyfried were late for the prom. No kisses exchanged with the winners. Perhaps a European or age thing?
- Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr. had scripted but amusing-as-hell banter, citing a few differing aspects of writing versus acting.
- Six years for a 16-minute short. 36 years to return with a full length film. Clever.
- Samuel L. Jackson’s face after Mo’Nique’s acceptance speech, said “ooooooh shit, she did, didn’t she?” I’m amazed he didn’t curse.
- Sarah Jessica Parker looked like she had just gotten out of the shower, wearing that silk bath towel and with frizzy hair. I thought Hollywood had caustic industrial-grade hairspray to prevent that sort of thing.
- The time lapse bit with Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin in the hotel room was cute, but was followed by the Ode to Horror. Bah, how on earth is horror the most popular genre? No matter, Edward Scissorhands is not a horror flick.
- I had no idea that Brittany Murphy had passed away.
- On being creative, “it’s not a waste of time.” Rock on, brother.
- Tyler Perry isn’t funny. A big red Snuggie, on the other hand…
- There are countdowns for the thank-you portions but not for the presenter introductions (yes, you Ben Stiller).
- The Dude isn’t allowed to be teary-eyed.
- George Clooney smiles a little when you’re inflating his ego. I guess life isn’t that horrible after all.
- An action film can be described as “dandelion,” according to Colin Farrell.
- Wish Jeremy Renner (as the underdog newcomer) would have taken Best Leading Actor. But the Dude (albeit giggly) ain’t so bad, either. Sorry, George.
- How many times the winner has been interviewed by Barbara Walters beforehand? I bet the bookkeepers in Vegas know.
After watching this thing from start to finish (and some previews in the middle), I realized there are quite a few movies that I haven’t gotten around to seeing yet. Up, Inglourious Basterds, The Blind Side, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Bounty Hunter, The Hurt Locker, Up in the Air, and Sherlock Homes. I’ve got my work cut out for me.
And then there was Nine, which I don’t think I’d ever heard of.
All in all, not a bad night.
I know I was very disappointed when Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin came on stage, and Neil Patrick Harris went off stage after that first number. SM & AB were hideously boring.
Other observations (I noted most of these on Twitter):
SJP’s hair looked good enough to eat. Really, with some butter and jelly it would’ve been delicious!
Gabby Sidibe was just cheerful and radiant, wasn’t she?
How many muppets had to die to make Zoe Saldaña’s dress? Five? Ten?
SOMEBODY f***ed up by leaving Farrah Fawcett AND Bea Arthur out of the Memorial montage!!!
And WTF was up with that ludicrous dance sequence!? These people learned nothing from the time Debbie Allen choreographed the 71st Oscars in ‘99! “Saving Private Ryan set to interpretive dance? Who’s responsible this time? At least it still wasn’t as bad as the Rob Lowe/Snow White silliness of 1989.
John: I must admit, I was scurrying around doing laundry during the commercials, dance sequences, etc. It would have been entertaining to see NPH pop in from time to time, but I doubt he would have carried the whole thing.