Technology & MSG

I find the election signs that are emerging from street corners and lawns up and down the coast to be incredibly tacky, especially when they disrupt an otherwise pristine landscape. They seem to scream “vote for me, because I don’t give a shit how this neighborhood looks!”
I’d make it a personal mission not to vote [...]

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I’m not usually a fan of bottled water. It’s pricey. You end up with lots of bottles. But sometimes, it’s the only thing going.
Over the weekend, I stopped into Trader Joe’s for lunch. I grabbed a pre-made wrap and was looking for something to drink, when I discovered the following: a half-liter bottle of spring [...]

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Credit to Rolling Stone, their renewal notices are more amusing than most.
This is the last letter you’ll receive from us, despite our best efforts over the past few months to keep our relationship alive.
What went wrong?
Some time ago, you gave us a few dollars you would have otherwise squandered on who-knows-what, and believe us we [...]

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Mosquitoes don’t seem to like gunfire.
A few weeks ago a buddy and I trekked into the woods, ready to try out a new set of reactive targets. We were inundated by mosquitoes as we set up, all wanting their lunch. But after a few rounds, the mosquitoes just disappeared. I didn’t see or hear one [...]

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The U.S. Postal Service hasn’t turned a profit since 2006. Since when does a government-run organization have to turn a profit? Do any of our government programs turn a profit?
The management blames the steady decline in pieces of mail that people are sticking in the mailbox. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen [...]

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We’re big on big televisions here in the United States. They’re supposedly better for watching sports, cartoons, sitcoms, movies, and everything else. At least that’s what the home electronics folks would have us believe. I’m a movie guy, and I’m not so sure.
Having watched a bunch of movies on big widescreen televisions, I’ve noticed that [...]

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A full face motorcycle helmet is a magical thing. Sure, it protects your head, but it also makes you sound like a fighter pilot. The next time you ride, try reciting some lines from Top Gun. It’s not like anyone can see or hear you.

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On the drive back from Shenandoah National Park, it was discovered that the following two items both contain propylene glycol:

ice cream sandwich
Degree antiperspirant and deodorant

Despite the fact propylene glycol is found in many foods, this seemed a little weird.
It reminded me of an issue of Zillions — a version of Consumer Reports intended for kids [...]

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There’s no light in my freezer. I haven’t consciously noticed this for the past several years, but now that I know it’s begs the question: how am I supposed to find a pudding pop in the middle of the night? The thought of rummaging around the ice cube trays, chicken breasts, and frozen vegetables seems [...]

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Suppose I want to reheat lasagna in the microwave. Since maximum power is good for nothing other than rubbery mozzarella and rock solid noodles, figure 3 minutes at 60% power.
Home: Power. 6. 3. 0. 0. Start.
Work: 3. 0. 0. Power. Power. Power. Power. Start.
Further illustrating the problem, I’m sure your microwave is different. If you’ve [...]

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Symphony is the smooth and velvety cousin of Hershey’s ever-classic milk chocolate bar.

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One downside of a mustache is having to blow your nose when there isn’t a mirror handy. You never know if you got it all onto the tissue. More than likely you’re wearing some of it.

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In reference to problems with configuration management (CM).
Me: It’s one problem with CM.
Me: Processes of processes defining processes.
Me: Meantime, nothing gets done.
Coworker: You sir have just described the entire Government.
Three sentences. Not too shabby.

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As seen in production code.
$TEN_MB = 8 * 1024 * 1024;
I guess ten was just a little bit too much?

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There’s something about collecting money from the wife of your boss to pay off his bookie. I can’t quite put my finger on it.

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